Sobering global #MeToo outcomes show why gender equality will take 4-20 generations By: Dr. Kathleen Brush

Hollywood actresses emboldened to share #MeToo stories that haunted their lives inspired a global movement. Women all over the world joined in, and for many or most, their lives got worse, sometimes a lot worse. #MeToo inadvertently revealed why gender equality is estimated to arrive in the 24 th century in the United States and the 27th century in Iran.

Sometimes women used #MeToo and sometimes they created new hashtags. In Japan, many #MeTooers were shamed to a point that was seen as dangerous. Japanese women switched to #Wetoo and #Withyou to show support for the movement.

At first, government censors in China kept a lid on #MeToo. Undeterred women began using virtual private networks. #MeToo was labeled as a hostile force using Western feminism to interfere with the government. Some #MeTooers believed their lives were in danger. Minimally some were in danger of being sued. In China, more accused sue than victims, and they often win. Male-dominated judiciaries can be very powerful for reinforcing the status quo that silent women are better off.

In South Korea, women filing lawsuits alleging sexual assault have faced shaming and taunting as gold diggers. The message sent was the real victims are men. In Slovenia, #jaztudi took a more cautionary route to protect alleged victims. Stories were posted anonymously by an NGO. Instead of women facing threats, the NGO has.

In Latin America, women tired of violence, which too commonly takes the deadly form of femicide, launched #NiUnoMenos, which means not one less. Peru’s highest religious leader, Cardinal Juan Luis Cipriani, said, “[They tell us] there are many abortions among young girls, but nobody has abused these girls. Often it is women who put themselves on display, provoking men.” Another response: well-known women supporting #NiUnoMenos have been murdered.

Russian #MeTooers have not been murdered, but murder inspired a Russian #MeToo-type movement #янехотелаумирать, which means I didn’t want to die. According to the Russian government, at least 12,000 women die from domestic violence every year. What’s being done about it? In 2017 Russian President Putin signed a law, originally proposed by a female legislator, that decriminalized violence against women unless it is so severe, they require treatment in a hospital. Regarding #MeToo, Putin said he doesn’t support the movement, and like the Chinese alludes to a western conspiracy. In Russia, there is a saying, “if he beats you, it means he loves you.”

France shared something in common with Russia; influential women opposed to the premises of #MeToo, or in France #balancetonporc which means squeal on your pig. Hollywood icon, Catherine Denueve and others saw #MeToo as a puritanical movement, and men sexually pestering women as "essential to sexual freedom." France obviously sees issues of sexual harassment and abuse differently. In 2020, highly feted “literary genius” Gabriel Matzneff found his acclaimed writings about sex with young girls were being re-examined. Millions around the world responded in disbelief asking how this could happen? Perhaps, it’s because a previous open challenge to Matzneff’s sexual deviance was rebuffed. How can a nation hailed as a leader in gender equality not protect young girls from sexual abuse?

In sub-Saharan Africa, according to the UN, violence against women is second to Latin America. Here #MeToo barely made inroads. Equal rights advocates suggested the fear of backlash was too high. In India, women in Bollywood joined the #MeToo movement, but lawsuits against alleged victims, exoneration of perps, and men battling back against false complaints drowned out #Metooers. False complaints are a tiny fraction of accusations everywhere, but they have become a potent weapon in the arsenal of men to silence women seeking equal rights. Outside Bollywood, Indian women have stayed silent for two reasons that are similar to reasons in sub-Saharan Africa. It’s a better alternative and many females (and males), sometimes most, see intimate partner violence (IPV) as justified in some situations, like burning dinner, or refusing sex.

#MeToo didn’t gain traction in small Pacific island nations. One reason is, because here too there is a widespread belief that IPV as justified. The problem, or not, depending on your view, is not, limited to intimates. One study found 27% of men in Papua New Guinea admitted to raping a female non-partner, and 14% admitted to multiple rapes of female non-partners. In neighboring Australia, #MeToo had problems catching on. Some pointed to strong anti- defamation laws as the reason. In one case an Australian actor won more than a $600,000 in an anti-defamation suit. That would be enough to cool the heels of any media source or alleged victim going public with a story.

In some Muslim-majority countries, estimates for gender equality reach 20 generations or 500 years. Iran is a 500 year-to-equality country. Iranian women have struggled with #MeToo because they are up against a government that insists Islamic traditions prevent harassment. But interviews with unnamed women in Iran disagree. “If you ask 10 women about this, nine of them will say, yes, they have suffered harassment.” There is a correlation between gender equality and IPV, which would indicate that this 9 of 10 might not be far off in a 500 year-to- equality country. Laws passed in some Muslim countries are often unenforceable because they violate religious laws. Under sharia law, there is no marital rape, and a husband can justifiably beat a disobedient wife. For unmarried intimates, sexual harassment and assault are not illegal. Sex out of wedlock is what is illegal. An unmarried intimate reporting rape would be self- reporting a crime, so would a non-intimate without four witnesses. Being illegal is anyway a technicality that the potential global population of #MeTooers knows too well. In the United States, 1% of victims will see perpetrators jailed.

Religious institutions like political institutions are male-dominated, and their leaders often see women creating their own problems. In 2018, authorities in Thailand warned women “not to dress too sexily” during the New Year holiday. The thinking was if women get sexually harassed, it’s their fault for dressing like sluts. Thai women created #Donttellmehowtodress, which has been adopted in other parts of the world. Another Thai movement has been launched to teach women about consent in a culture where men don’t ask, because it seems apparent that they don’t need to. Around the world, girls don’t know there are age-of-consent laws that range from 9 to 21. But should a 50-year old man, like Matzeff, be free to have sex with a fourteen, let alone nine-year-old girl, because she said yes? In male-dominated governments, that’s not for women to decide.

There is plenty of evidence that very powerful political men can see nothing wrong with sexual harassment. The president of the Philippines, President Duterte’s regular sexist comments spawned #BabaeAko, which translates into #Iamwoman. Duterte has made jokes about rape and referred to a second wife as a “spare tyre” in the trunk of his car. What hope do women in the Philippines have to escape the most heinous form of discrimination if the leader of their country perpetuates the notion of women as men’s sexual playthings?

US President Donald Trump was a catalyst for #MeToo. Like Duterte, online logs are kept of his sexist comments. In office, they haven’t been as crude, but that’s a tempered outcome similar to the evolution of #MeToo in the United States. In the US, #MeToo has tempered sexual harassment but increased gender harassment. For victims the results are similar: the ambitions of degraded women decreases and many leave the workforce. Who leaves? Not sure, but senior women face higher levels of harassment. They are, after all, the ones that pose the greatest threat to male-dominated institutions.

#MeToo challenged powerful men all over the world, and they have responded to let women know that power in this world is securely in the hands of men, and they won’t be letting go anytime soon. Sexual harassment and abuse has been and continues to cement the inferior position of women in society. Harassment and abuse isn’t about sex; it’s about keeping women subordinated all over the world. Gender discrimination is blind to color, religion and wealth. The latter simply causes biases to change forms, and to offer legal remedies that are more likely to haunt victims than deliver justice.

Without generating global outrage that compels lawmakers and business leaders to address a scourge on half the world, harassment and abuse will continue to reinforce gender inequality. The estimates of 4-20 generations to equality and a global survey of #MeToo outcomes reinforce this won’t happen anytime soon. Women fear reporting acts of sexual violence, females have been raised to see it as justified, male political leaders promote women as sex toys, handfuls of falsely accused men drowned out millions of female victims, incidents are censored or swept under the carpet. When allegations are formalized, judiciaries send unsupportive messages.

There are other problems too. In many governments, data is not reported because the actions are not illegal. Where it is illegal, data can be censored, unprioritized, or used for purposes that obviously aren’t having much of an impact. The World Economic Forum produces the gold standard for measuring global gender equality, but it doesn’t find the most blatant and egregious form of gender discrimination relevant to evaluating equality. There is an adage that what gets measured, gets improved. If NGOs tracking gender equality don’t see a problem and neither do male-dominated governments, there is a problem without a solution. We certainly can’t rely on female heads of government. Today there are fourteen (7% of countries), up from one, fifty- eight years ago. But, even females as heads of government doesn’t automatically mean progress for women. A forecast for gender equality spanning centuries makes sense. The bigger question is, how do we bring this forward? More senior women leaders that accept part of their charge as ending gender discrimination could work.

BUY HER BOOK: The Power of One: You're the BOSS

Empowerment byline: Carol Drinkwater

The Oxford Dictionary definition of empower is : give (someone) the authority or power to do something.  Make someone stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.  The noun is Empowerment

What fascinates me about empowerment, particularly as a writer, is how we can create our own power, how through the experiences of loss or grief, learning or challenge we find the inner strength to grow and move forward with a broader and richer understanding of ourselves and the world in which we live and function.   

I believe that no experience is worth having if it does not takes us further. What have I learnt? What can this teach me about myself and the my relationship with the world about me?

In the OLIVE trilogy I am writing, stories about buying a delapidated villa in ten acres of land in the south of France and transforming that ruin and its Mediterranean terraces into a glorious olive farm that produces first class olive oil, there are numerous examples of challenge and loss, some painful, some very funny. Each of the books recounts some of these challenges and how they can be transformed into rich and uplifting and often humorous experiences.

In THE OLIVE SEASON, the second book in the trilogy, I find myself pregnant. The news is joyous to myself and my husband, Michel, because I had a history of miscarriages. Unfortunately, I lose the little girl at seventeen weeks into the pregnancy. The devastation is compounded when I learn from my gynecologist that I will never be able to carry a child full-term. For almost any woman this is a profound tragedy and one that takes a great deal of courage to face and move through. For me, personally, there were two issues that took my grief way down. Firstly, my husband has beautiful twin daughters from his first marriage and though I love them to bits and they love me I will never be their mother and, secondly, I am an actress and and as such my life is sometimes lived in the public domain. On television I have been described as 'womanly', 'attractive', 'feminine' etc and now here I am childless. Being denied the quintessential female experience. How was I to go forward ? How was I going to come to terms with such a deprivation? 

Running alongside tales of the rich and colourful world of life in southern Provence, this loss, these questions and their answers, is one of the themes of THE OLIVE SEASON. I believe that I allowed myself to go through the grieving and, slowly, as the seasons changed on the olive farm, as winter turned to spring, as a new harvest of olives was gathered and pressed, as sapling olive trees are planted, I began to find strength in nature. I began looking for what was good in my life.

What makes my cup half FULL and not half EMPTY?

The olive tree is considered to be the Tree of Eternity. It lives sometimes to a thousand years. It does not begin fully fruiting until is about twenty-five years and its finest fruits can be harvested when it has reached a century or more.

We have recently planted another two hundred small trees. Sometimes, these days, I stand on our farmland and I look about me and I thank Life for all that is wonderful. I will never have children in the physical, the conventional sense. But we have young trees that will be fruiting long after Michel and I have passed through this life, I have my books to write, roles as an actress to take on and we are creating a farm that will be there for many future generations to come.

Of course, I remain sad that I don't see that little girl at my side on the farm, that I don't hold her hand, but she is there in spirit and I am stronger and richer as a woman now because I have learnt to celebrate what I have. 

I have been empowered - been made stronger and more confident - by the facing of my loss and I have discovered joy in the everyday world around me. 

© CAROL DRINKWATER, France 2003

"Are You Dating A Potential Cheater?" byline: Ruth Houston

Is the man you're dating a potential cheater who will one day break your heart? Take this quiz and find out.

Like most single women who are dating, I'm sure you'll want to avoid getting involved with a man who's likely to cheat. After all, he could one day break your heart. But according to statistics, an estimated 50 to 70 percent of men cheat on their mates. How can you tell if the man you're dating is one of these potential cheaters? Wouldn't it be great to have this information about him before you get too deeply involved? 

Find out If He's Prone to Infidelity

Finding out whether or not the man you're dating is prone to infidelity is much easier than you think. Studies reveal that some men are more likely to cheat than others because of their background, their past history, or certain character traits. Using this information, I've designed a 7 question quiz that can help you determine if the man you're dating is a potential cheater. 

Single Women Screen Dates with this Quiz

Decide Who Not to Date

The Potential Cheaters quiz can help you make an informed decision about whether or not to continue dating a man, or how deeply to get involved. By identifying and avoiding the potential cheaters in the dating pool, you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary headaches and heartaches. 

Rate Your Date with the Potential Cheaters Quiz

So before you fall head-over-heels in love or get too attached to that new man in your life, rate your date's cheating potential with the 7 questions below:

Potential Cheaters Quiz

1. Does he thrive on adventure?
2. Did he have a great deal of sexual experience prior to your relationship? 
3. Does he have lots of female friends? 
4. Does he have male friends who are cheating on their wives or girlfriends? 
5. Does he have a parent who cheated? 
6. Did he cheat in any of his past relationships? 
7. Does he feel that infidelity is really no big deal?

What the Answers Mean:

1. Some men enjoy all the suspense, deception and intrigue that go along with infidelity. They'll cheat just for the "thrill of the chase." 
2. Studies reveal that men who were extremely sexually active before settling down in a committed relationship are more apt to engage in sex outside that relationship. Don't expect a leopard to change his spots.
3. Close friendships with women are a common starting point for infidelity. Friends can quickly turn into lovers. The closer the friendship, the greater the odds that it will develop into an affair.
4. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. If his friends are cheating, he'll soon be cheating too. 
5. Infidelity tends to run in families. Children of unfaithful parents are often programmed to follow in their footsteps, considering infidelity to be the norm. 
6. "Once a cheater, always a cheater." There are exceptions, but statistically speaking, if he cheated once, he's more apt to do it again. His history will probably repeat itself. 
7. If he doesn't believe that infidelity is wrong, his behavior will reflect his beliefs.

How to Evaluate Your Results

Generally speaking, the more 'yes' answers, the greater the likelihood that this man will cheat. But some answers carry more weight than others, so you'll want to take a closer look at the results. 

If you answered yes to #1, #2, or #5 (but not all three), he's a POTENTIAL CHEATER who may very well cheat on you if the opportunity presents itself. If you decide to get involved with him, you need to make it difficult for him to cheat. Familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity, so you'll know if he starts to stray.

If you answered yes to #3 or #4 alone, together, or in combination with #1 or #2, he's a COMMON "GARDEN-VARIETY" CHEATER who will cheat if he feels he can do so without getting caught. Your challenge, if you insist on dating him, is to stay one step ahead of him by learning to recognize the early warning signs. If you know how to spot the signs of impending infidelity, you may be able to stop his cheating before it starts, or leave before he breaks your heart. Familiarize yourself with the 21 major categories of telltale signs. 

If you answered yes to #6 alone or in combination with #1,#2, #3, #4, or #5 you're dealing with an EXPERIENCED CHEATER who knows how to hide the obvious signs of infidelity. The most important thing to do if you're dating this man is learn to spot the subtle signs of infidelity, because these are the signs that will inevitably give him away. Get a good infidelity reference guide, ( like Is He Cheating on You?), watch him like a hawk, and try not to get too deeply involved.

If you answered yes to #7 alone ( This one's the biggie!) or in combination with any others, you've got a HARD-CORE, HABITUAL CHEATER on your hands who's probably already having an affair. (You could unknowingly be the Other Woman.) For this man, cheating is a way of life. If you don't want to become an infidelity statistic, leave this man alone. Should you decide to take on this challenge, you're in serious trouble if you don't know how to spot the subtle signs of infidelity. Forget about watching for the usual signs of cheating. This man is an expert at covering his tracks. The best thing you can do is become adept at spotting the subtle signs of infidelity, since there won't be any obvious signs to give him away. 

If you're already dating a potential cheater, or thinking about dating one, you need to know what to do. Even if you only had one yes answer on the Potential Cheater's Quiz, there's still cause for concern. 

Copyright © Ruth Houston 2005 All rights reserved

Buy NOW! Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs

"8 Keys to Lasting Love" byline: Linda Miles, Ph.D. and Robert Miles, M.D.

Our granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. When Merritt was five years old I read a fairy tale to her and was very disturbed by the ending, "And they lived happily ever after." As she could not read yet, I took the liberty of changing the ending to "They began the work of creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt to think that marriage was so simple or that it just happened that you lived happily every after, as so many of our clients believed. As a marriage and family therapist for thirty years, I have seen the pain people experience on their honeymoon when they wake up and realize they have married a mere mortal. In creating this, it is my hope that my granddaughter Merritt, as she enters adulthood, as well as many other people, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth.

§ Stop blaming and start living. It is your responsibility, and not your partner's, to feel better and to heal. Your partner will be responsible to you, but not for you. So it's useful to ask yourself, "Why did I draw this person into my life and what is it that I need to learn from this instead of blaming?" A good marriage grows you up. 

§ Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome. We think we can fix up our partner and shape them up to perfection, our perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry just for potential. 

§ Made a promise to keep integrity. Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow one to grow. Work on behaviors that make your partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent what you are feeling without being out of control. 

§ Eliminate attack thoughts. These thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If you attack other people and attack yourself and your thoughts, it really interferes with your happiness and with your peace of mind. Learn to find joy even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart." 

§ Do not hold onto anger. Holding onto anger is like drinking Drano. Turn attack thoughts into something constructive. Think thoughts that are appreciative of your partner and express them often. Build up an emotional bank account so you have positive emotion currency when angry times come. 

§ Wake up without makeup. On soap operas I see women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup and false eyelashes, and that's not real. What we need to do in a marriage is to learn to be more and more real, and more and more safe to be who we truly are.

§ Wake up and make up. It is very important for couples to learn to repair after a fight. Keep trying to find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep your marriage buoyant and alive.

§ If you want to change your relationship, change yourself. Reinvent yourself, because you're not going to be able to change your partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." You will be truly surprised by joy when you can live in the moment with that other person.

BUY HER BOOK: The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth
     

Your Voice Is Your Instrument by Wendy Weiss

On an introductory call, your voice is your instrument. During a face-to-face meeting, you have visual cues and body language available to add layers of meaning. On the telephone, you have only your voice and the words that you use. The way that you use your voice can make or break your conversation.

Imagine that you are telling a bedtime story to a child. You would not drone on in a bored tone about the “Big, Bad Wolf.” No! You would put fear and passion into your voice to have that story come alive for that child. On an introductory call, you are telling your story to your prospect. Think about it in the same manner—what you would like that prospect to hear, feel and see. 

The emphasis on any particular word can totally change the meaning of a sentence. Let’s take the phrase, “She is not a thief.” If you emphasize the “She”—the sentence means that she is not a thief, but someone else is. If you emphasize “not”—the sentence is a defense. If you emphasize “thief”—the sentence implies that she is something else that you have just not named. Think about the emphasis that you wish to make—and use your voice accordingly!

Look at each sentence in your sales pitch and determine what you are trying to convey and what is the best way to do so. Try out different line deliveries, until you are satisfied with the result. Use a tape recorder to listen to how you sound. Do you sound like someone with whom you would like to have a conversation? Listen for warmth and passion in your voice. Do you sound interesting? Convincing? Confident? Is your speech clear, professional and pleasant? Or do you sound angry, tired, tentative or bored? Is your speaking voice nasal, a monotone or singsong? Do you speak too fast or too slow? Do you mumble? Remember as you listen to the tape that you hear yourself differently than do others. By listening to your taped voice, you will hear yourself as others hear you.

Once you have determined what you wish to convey to your prospect, practice your script until it flows easily. You do not want to sound like you are reading a script. Call your friends and pitch them. Perhaps you can work with a colleague who is also making introductory calls. This way, when you have your prospect on the telephone, you will be prepared and voice the message that you wish to voice.

BUY HER BOOK: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

Why Are We All So Afraid? by Wendy Weiss

What can strike terror into the heart of even the most successful sales professional or entrepreneur? 

Cold Calling.

What can crush self-confidence, destroy self-esteem and leave even the most seasoned sales professional quivering with humiliation and defeat?

Cold Calling.

But why?

Every culture has its myths and stereotypes, and one of ours is the stereotype of the manipulative, unscrupulous salesman. The term "sales" conjures images of untrustworthiness and deviousness. We have the stereotypes of the "traveling salesman," the "used car salesman" and, of course, the "telemarketer." 

These terms do not literally describe what the person is selling; they take on a larger meaning. For example, our cultural translation of "used car salesman" is not simply someone who is selling used cars, but instead means someone who is unethical, uncaring and will pressure you into a sale that is not necessarily in your best interest. "Telemarketer" has come to mean not just someone who sells over the telephone, but someone who interrupts your dinner, doesn't listen and tries to pressure you into meaningless, valueless purchases. It can also mean someone who is running a scam over the telephone, usually preying on the elderly.

This is not the reality of individual telemarketers or used car salesmen. It is the stereotype. And these stereotypes do a huge disservice to most salespeople. Far too often, salespeople buy into these stereotypes, these images of untrustworthiness, placing themselves, in their own minds, on a lower level than their prospects.

If you buy into these negative images, you are at a disadvantage before you even pick up the telephone to call your prospect. It is imperative to change the way that you think about this process. Examine your intent:

? Is your product or service meaningful?
? Does it provide a benefit?
? Do you believe in the value and benefit of what you are selling?
? Are you doing the best that you know how to insure that your customers get what they need?

If your answers to the above questions are that you have a meaningful product or service, it provides value, you believe in your product or service, you are doing your very best to insure that your customers get what they need-if those are your answers, why then, you don't fit the stereotype. Stop acting as if you do! Stop apologizing. Stop feeling uncomfortable. Proceed with pride and integrity.

But there are some additional reasons that people fear cold calling. When you are face-to-face with someone, you have all of the visual cues to help you through the sales process. How does the person look? How is she dressed? What are her facial expressions? Does she make eye content? Is she smiling? Is she frowning? We instantly and intuitively assess these cues, and they help us determine what is happening in our communication. 

On the telephone, you have none of those cues. That's what makes it so scary. It's as though you are suddenly blind, and you cannot tell what is going on. It is important to train yourself to listen very deeply when you are on the telephone-you must hear those cues that you would normally see. And remember-your prospect has no visual cues either! That is why it is imperative to use your voice expressively and have a clear message.

BUY HER BOOK: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

"Warm Calls vs. Cold" by Wendy Weiss

Recently, a participant in one of my public seminars gave me a “warm” lead, the name and telephone number of the training director of a company with a large sales force. She told me to call. She said she knew that they needed help, and she told me to use her name.

Wow! A “warm” lead! I was excited! I called!

Once I reached the prospect, I introduced myself and then mentioned the name of the participant who had given me the referral. 

The response was not what I expected. “What did she say?” he snarled. “How do you know her?” It seems the two of them were not on very good terms, and he didn’t think very highly of her. What had just happened to my “warm” lead? (Why this woman gave me this lead is perhaps the subject for a different article.)

Does this type of scenario happen all of the time? Let’s hope not! But the point is that the difference between a “warm” call and a “cold” call exists only in your mind. Whether or not you have a referral, when you call your prospect, you must have done your homework. You still must be able to represent yourself intelligently and articulately on the telephone. If you cannot do that, you will not move to the next step.

These arbitrary distinctions of “warm” and “cold” actually make it more difficult for you, because you assume that the “cold” call is harder than the “warm” call. That is not necessarily true. Frequently, people avoid making “cold” calls, assuming that they will be more difficult and yield fewer results. Conversely, they don’t always do their homework on a referral, assuming that it is some how “in the bag.” The truth is that “cold” calls quickl become “warm” calls when the caller has done her homework and is able to introduce herself in a clear and succinct manner. Don’t limit yourself with artificial distinctions of “warm” vs. “cold.”

Whether or not you have a referral, you are calling to introduce yourself, your company and product or service. Forget “warm” calls and “cold” calls.” Think “introductory” call.

So, what happened with my “warm” call turned “cold?” I stayed calm. I got the appointment anyway. The rest I’m still working on. 

BUY HER BOOK: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

This Thanksgiving, Be Thankful He's Not the Cheating Kind byline: Ruth Houston

This Thanksgiving, any wife whose husband isn't cheating on her has a lot to be thankful for. Faithful husbands are in short supply. Most wives assume their husbands are faithful. But only 1 wife in 4 can truthfully make that claim. 

Infidelity has reached epidemic proportions and now affects 80% of all marriages today. According to statistics, 3 out of 4 husbands are cheating on their wives. So be thankful if your husband is not the cheating kind. 

An estimated 38 to 53 million women are victims of infidelity. In one study, over 65% of the cheating husbands admitted to having had more than one extramarital affair. Studies also indicate that 2/3 of the wives whose husbands are cheating on them (approximately 26 million women) have no idea their husbands are having an affair. The wife truly is the last to know.

In the face of statistics like these, you can see why a faithful husband is indeed something to be thankful for. 

4 of Many Reasons to Be Thankful 

Though many husbands are having extramarital escapades, there's still a small minority of men who are not the cheating kind. Despite the prevalence of infidelity, these faithful husbands remain true to their marriage vows. If you're fortunate enough to be married to one, this Thanksgiving you have at least four things you can be thankful for:

** Be thankful your marriage and family are still intact.

** Be thankful the time and energy you've invested in your marriage have not been in vain.

** Be thankful you don't have to deal with the mental and emotional trauma that infidelity brings.

** Be thankful you don't have to agonize over the decision of whether to end your marriage or struggle to get it back on track.

And if you're not sure whether or not your husband is the cheating kind? Then be thankful you read this article. 

BUY NOW!!! Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs

HONORED

On December 14, 2017 The Woman's Connection(R) (TWC) was honored as one of Manhattan Neighborhood Networks programs.  TWC has been part of MNN for the past 24 years empowering women world wide.  It has been a pleasure meeting women across the globe doing some remarkable things. 

Loreal Women in Digital

July 17th, 2013 women get your game on for next year and check out www.lorealwomenindigital.com to see how you could win. Great prize of money and more important is the mentorship program that identifies and provides opportunities to technology companies that are run by women and have the potential to shake-up the beauty industry.

The winners announced at the Ceremony Featured Guest Host Olivia Munn, Star of HBO's ‘The Newsroom’ and Self Proclaimed ‘Hollywood Geek’ what a riot. So down to earth and quite witty with her ad lib’s rocking the place. The three standout female-founded and led digital companies, selected from a group of more than 1,600 nominations were:  http://youtu.be/c6-et8jDm4Y

JOYUS, Sukhinder Singh Cassidy, Founder and CEO- JOYUS is the world's first premium online video shopping experience for the modern woman. 

 Poptip, Kelsey Falter, Founder and CEO- Poptip is a software platform that enables crowd participation. 
The Poptip platform has two products: Poptip Questions, which offers the ability to ask questions and surveys over social media, and Poptip

 72Lux, Heather Marie, Founder and CEO - 72Lux is a software company with patent-pending technology
that enables digital publishers to sell the products they feature in their editorial.

I left the event with my very heavy gift bag of L’Oreal hair products.  I was so proud of all these women and what they have and will accomplish. Can’t wait to see what is in store for next year. 

After eating up a storm at the Sushi table, caped it off with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and a shot of milk.

Women in Leadership

June 4, 2013 As part of an ongoing “Women in Leadership” series honoring noteworthy Canadian women: Dr. Karyn, an educator, speaker, and media personality, was acknowledged for her wide-ranging work with families and professionals. We mingled in the lovely Park Avenue residence formerly home to Ken Taylor, who was instrumental in the covert “Canadian Caper” operation depicted in the Oscar winning film Argo.

In his introduction, John F. Prato spoke of Dr. Karyn’s work in New York City as being representative of the healthy relationship and strong bond between Canada and the United States, calling her “an incredible part of the Canadian fabric.” Dr. Karyn has taken her deep understanding and used it to build a larger platform to facilitate dialogue regarding parenting and relationships, Consul General Prato noted. Dr. Karyn Gordon: One of North America’s leading relationship and parenting experts, a best-selling author, media personality, motivational speaker, and founder of dk Leadership, Dr. Karyn’s mission is to inspire people to dream their best life and learn the tools and do it! 

Women Entrepreneurs Rock the World

May 8th, 2013 attended “Women Entrepreneurs Rock the World” conference hosted by Angela Jia Kim founder of Savor the Success www.savorthesuccess.com. What an event with take away tips to make you think and grow your business. Simon Sinek-The Power of Why and author of “Start with Why” Stop managing and start leading: was one of many potent remarks he made: Now to get the book. Amanda Steinberg: rejection/disappointment.....what she does is gives herself two hours of intense rejection time to cry scream whatever then moves on. Make sure you are serving a market that can afford you. One important topic was how do you pay yourself from this business? Start with a separate business i.e. a checking account that you simulate a monthly draw. You have to look at money as a game and it is all a numbers game. Most importantly have to address stories we say about money and our feelings. 

National Association of Professional Women (NAPW)

April 26, 2013 “spark ignite your network” organized by National Association of Professional Women (NAPW). And what a network event it was. We were seated at round tables for 8 making it quite easy to connect with the other people at the table in the ballroom at the Sheraton New York Times Square Hotel, which was filled to capacity. Arriving at the event we were given a wonderful bag filled with goodies of empowering items from some of the women owned businesses. NAPW mission is to provide the most advanced forum for members to connect with like-minded professional women. And it did not let you down.

Starr Jones was the moderator and host with the moistest. She reviewed her life history starting out as an attorney and then becoming a co-host on “The View” which catapult her to be a national household word. She is a very personable woman who came up to me after I took her picture and introduced herself to me: “Hi, I’m Star Jones” and I shook her hand and told her my name. It was quick and gracious. Well I was also in the press room.

The ballroom erupted when she walked to the podium. Starr revealed her seven tools to Success:
1. Investigate: what do you want to achieve, what need to get there
2. Initiate: how to plan to change, get it started
3. Insight; self-evaluation, review how failed in past
4. Intuition
5. Intention; focus on results want to have
6. Inspiration: what brings you joy
7. Innovation: take a risk and bust out of the old
Star additionally mentioned to be prepared, focus on future with reinvention and what is the one thing that is self-sabotaging you from advancing.

Arianna Huffington, was just a gracious in introducing herself. It was fascinating to hear about her background and how she started the Huffington Post. One of the key things she believes in is “napping” just like Winston Churchill. It recharges one’s mind and body. What we want to do is change the sold so operate from “abundance”. 

Then after a lovely lunch Martha Stewart joined Star. She briefly talked about her time in jail and how that affected her. Now she is out scouting the country for those who do it themselves in crafts. She found this to be empowering for women as well. Now with so much behind her she is looking for a man and will be going on-line to Match.com to put up her bio and see what happens. Wish her lots of luck.

Panel of women included: Lesley Jane Seymour who said “special hell for women who don’t help other women”. We are all in it together sharing mistakes she’s made in the past. How she was sabotaged by a best friend in HR. When she receives something in email/mail/phone message that requires a response from her she evaluates as to the importance of doing it right now.

Desiree Rogers who used to be in the White House said: FEAR don’t allow people to tell you who you are. You truly fail when you give up on self.

Kim Garst whose approach is to collaborate in getting you and your brand recognized especially in social media.

Monique L. Nelson shared how she wound up being a global marketing executive and winning awards.

It was a very informative time and they had women coming from all over the country with a variety of businesses. Some of them were quite unique. 

Me and my moment!  Star Jones  Desiree Rogers, Airiana Huffington
 

Girls for A Change

March 18th, 2010 Kotex is starting a new campaign to help young women think and talk different about their bodies know as "U by KOTEX".  For every woman who joins the campaign www.ubykotex.com Kotex will make a $1.00 donation to Girls for A Change.

Rusty Kanokogi

November 25th, 2009 I learned of one of my former guests passed away: Rusty Kanokogi.  I first meet Rusty in 1996 and she became a guest in 1997.  As a seventh-degree black belt she is responsible for getting women's Judo in the Olympics.  On the show she demonstrated a couple of moves...and you can be sure I did not participate.   We will miss Rusty as I felt fortunate to have meet her and stayed in contact all these years.  A great lady who leaves us a great legacy!

Stevie Awards for Women in Business November 13, 2009

On November 13th, 2009 I attended the 6th annual "Stevie Awards for Women in Business" at the New York Marriott Marquis. "Stevies" in Greek stand for crowned, which is produced by a man: Michael P. Gallagher, President.  The gala was co-hosted by FOX News anchor, Cheryl Casone along with Co-Star of The Apprentice and former Executive VP of The Trump Organization, Carolyn Kepcher; quite exciting to hear them close up.  While this years awards were broadcast live over radio there were no camera's buzzing overhead.  Over 300 women from around the world attended and from a pool of over 1100 entrants in 54 categories.  If you are interested in entering the contest sign up here Stevie Awards or seeing who the winners are.

Winner: Women Helping Women Award
Margaret Manning
CEO
Reading Room
London, United Kingdom

Finalist
Lisa Quast
President/Founder
Career Woman, Inc.

Finalist
Cynthia deLorenzi
Chief Diva Extraordinaire
Success in the City

 

Top 10 Diva Do's and Don'ts: Home Improvements Projects for Women

Guest blog by Norma Vally

1. DON’T wear loose clothing while performing home improvement tasks. Loose-fitting garments can get caught in power tools, especially saws—a potentially life threatening situation.

2. DO know where the main shut-off valves for all your utilities are located. Women need to know how to turn off the main power sources for the gas, water and electricity in their homes. This is critical in an emergency.

3. DON’T be stymied by a lack of upper body strength. For example, women can gain leverage by extending the length of a wrench—thus requiring less brute strength—by adding a long piece of metal pipe over the wrench’s handle. “Back in Brooklyn, we call that pipe a ‘persuader,’” Norma says.

4. DO mark your project materials before cutting them. The old adage goes, “Measure twice, cut once.” Norma takes it a step further, “Whenever possible, mark instead of measure is even better.”

5. DON’T buy cheap tools. Investing in good tools upfront will save you money in the long run since they won’t need to be replaced. They’ll also save you a lot of aggravation— and not being aggravated is priceless!

6. DO know which direction to turn screws and other fittings. The general rule is, “Right tight, left loose.”

7. DON’T be embarrassed to ask for help from the staff in home improvement centers and hardware stores. They are often retired trades people and can offer a wealth of information.

8. DO organize your work space and keep it clutter-free. Clean up as you work to keep the area safe and free of potential hazards, especially anything that you can trip over.

9. DON’T forget to bring along any old parts that you may be replacing when you go to the hardware store. Norma says, “It’s much easier for you and the sales staff to find replacement parts when you bring in an example of what you’re looking for.” If you can’t bring it with you, try to find a serial or ID number from the original part.

10. DO unplug your power tools when you’re adjusting a part or changing a blade. “Just turning the tool off isn’t enough,” cautions Norma. “Accidents can and do happen, so be sure to always unplug your tools.”
 

Women Who Reach Beyond the Stars A tribute to women making aviation and space history

Guest blog by Marion E. Gold
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them." Louisa May Alcott

When Louisa May Alcott said these words, she likely had no idea that women one day would not only look beyond the sunshine, but travel beyond the stars to brave new frontiers in outer space. 

In 1961 aeronautics history began a new era when 13 women reported to the Lovelace Clinic in Southeast Albuquerque, New Mexico. They were carefully selected to be the FLATS, the First Lady Astronaut Trainees - candidates for a mission to be known as Mercury 13. Their names are: Myrtle "K" Thompson Cagle, Jerrie Cobb, Jan Dietrich and her identical twin Marion Dietrich, Mary Wallace "Wally" Funk II, Jane Hart, Jean Hixson , Gene Nora Stumbough Jessen, Irene Leverton, Sarah Lee Gorelick Ratley, Bernice "B" Steadman, Geraldine "Gerri" Sloan Truhill, And Rhea Hurrle Allison Woltman.

The program was so secret, according to an article by Funk, that not all the Mercury 13 candidates knew each other during their years of training and evaluation. It was not until 1994 when ten of the Mercury 13 met for the first time. 

Funk is a member of the "Ninety-Nines, Inc.," an international organization that was founded in 1929 by 99 licensed women pilots for the mutual support and advancement of aviation. In 1931, Amelia Earhart was elected as the first president and the group was officially named for its 99 charter members. Today, the 99s boasts more than six thousand members, all licensed women pilots, from 35 countries. Its International Headquarters is located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

In documenting the history of the Mercury 13, Funk said that despite their outstanding test results - all passed the same tests as the Mercury 7 men-- these exceptional women never got a chance to fly into space. But their hard work paved the way 22 years later, in 1983, when Sally Ride became the first American woman to fly in space. (http://www.ninety-nines.org/mercury.html)

Ride was not the first woman in space, however. That bold step was taken in 1963 by Valentina Tereshkova of the Soviet Union - the first woman to orbit the earth. Ride's journey to the stars was followed in July 1984, when another Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya made history as the first female spacewalker.

Ride, Tereshkova and Savitskaya have been joined by many more daring women who are committed to trailblazing their way into history - space history. 

Today, if you visit the "Women of NASA" website, there are biographies of dozens of women throughout the program: Administrators and Managers; engineers, technologists, and astrobiologists; astronauts who are mission specialists, pilots and commanders; astronomers and astrophysicists, biologists, chemists, computer scientists, system specialists and programmers; aeronautics, aerospace, biological, chemical and biomedical engineers; educators who reach out to the public; computer and design engineers; environmental specialists and geologists; pharmacologists and psychologistsŠ. The list goes on and on. (http://quest.arc.nasa.gov/women/WON.html)

This month - women's history month - we honor them. This month, and every month, we especially pay tribute to the four brave women who gave their lives in the daring quest for knowledge. Four trailblazing women who reached far beyond Louisa May Alcott's sunshine and into the heavens: 

KALPANA CHAWLA emigrated to the United States from India in 1980s and became an astronaut in 1994. In a 1998 interview with the newspaper "India Today," Chawla said: "When you look at the stars and the galaxy, you feel that you are not just from any particular piece of land, but from the solar system." Chawla was killed on February 1 when the space shuttle Columbia STS-107 tragically disintegrated just sixteen minutes before its scheduled landing in Florida. DR. LAUREL CLARK was a diving medical officer aboard submarines and then a flight surgeon before she reported to the Johnson Space Center in August 1996. After completing two years of training and evaluation, she was qualified for flight assignment as a mission specialist. She also died in the Columbia tragedy. DR. JUDITH ARLENE RESNIK was selected as a NASA astronaut in January 1978. She became the second American woman in orbit during the maiden flight of Discovery, STS-41-D, between August 30 and September 5, 1984. During this mission she helped to deploy three satellites into orbit; she was also involved in biomedical research during the mission. Resnik was a mission specialist on the Challenger (STS-51- L) which exploded just after launch from the Kennedy Space Center, Florida on January 28, 1986. SHARON CHRISTA MCAULIFFE was the first teacher to fly in space. Selected from among more than 11,000 applicants from the education profession for entrance into the astronaut ranks to be trained as a payload specialist. McAuliffe also died on January 28, 1986 when the Challenger exploded.

Their legacies live on in the hearts of all women who reach beyond the stars to follow their dreams.

Timeline of Women in Aeronautics
1910 Bessie Raiche - First woman to fly solo. She flew in an airplane her husband built of bamboo, wire and silk.
1911 Harriet Quimby - First U.S. woman to receive a pilot's license. In 1912, she also became the first woman to fly solo across the English Channel.
1913 Ruth Law Bancroft- First woman to fly at night.
1914 Katherine Stinson- First woman to fly a loop (Cicero Field, Chicago, IL). In 1917, she
set flight endurance record of 9 hours and 10 minutes.
1918 Anna Low- First Chinese-American, female aviator who flew in the San Francisco, CA region.
1921 Bessie Coleman- First African-American female aviator to qualify for an international pilot's license from the Federation Aeronautique Internationale.
1924 Ruth Nichols- First woman to earn an international hydroplane license.
1929 Ninety-Nines was founded by women pilots - female aviators club with Amelia Earhart as president. The name comes from the fact that out of 126 female licensed pilots, 99 of them joined.
1929 Elinor Smith-Sets solo flight endurance record of 13 hours and 16 minutes.
1929 Bobbi Trout-First woman to fly all night.
1930 Florence Klingensmith - First woman to set loop record for 143 consecutive loops.
1931 Anne Morrow Lindbergh- First woman to earn a glider pilot's license.
1932 Olive Beech- Helps to found, with her husband, Beech Aircraft Corporation. Also in
1932, Kathryn Cheung- First Chinese-American female to earn a U.S. pilot's license;
Amelia Earhart- First woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean (in just under 15 hours); and Ruth Nichols- First woman hired as a pilot for commercial passenger flights, on New York Airways.
1936 Louise Thaden, pilot and Blanche Noyes, co-pilot- First women to win the Bendix Transcontinental Air Race from Los Angeles, CA to New York City, New York.
1937 Willa Brown- First African-American woman to earn a commercial pilot's license.
1938 Hanna Reitsch German WWII test pilot who was the first woman to pilot a helicopter.
1943 Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) -The government program in which female pilots were used to train the male pilots for combat duty. The U.S. female pilots also ferried airplanes across the Atlantic Ocean for use in combat.
1944 Ann Baumgartner- First U.S. woman to fly an experimental jet airplane. She reached speeds of 350 mph and altitudes up to 35,000 feet.
1947 Ann Shaw Carter- First U.S. woman licensed to fly a helicopter.
1953 Jacqueline Cochran- First woman to break the sound barrier.
1955 Whirley Girls-Female helicopter pilots start their own association.
1960 Jerrie Cobb - First woman to undergo the testing developed for the selection of the Mercury Astronauts. 
1961 Jacqueline Cochran- First woman to fly the highest to an altitude of 55,253 feet; that same year, Cochran also Established a new altitude record for the T-38 aircraft by flying 56,071 feet.
1963 Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova was the First Woman in Space.
1964 Jerrie Mock- First woman to fly solo around the world. She made the flight in 29 1/2 days flying 22,860 miles.
1973 Emily Howell-As second officer for Frontier Airlines, she became the first woman to fly Boeing 737 jets for a regularly scheduled airline; Bonnie Tiburzi-First female jet pilot hired by a major airline, American Airlines.
1984 Betsy Carroll-First woman to fly a jumbo jet across the Atlantic Ocean for a commercial airline (People Express).
1984 (July) Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya - First female spacewalker.
1984 (October) Kathryn Sullivan -First American Female Spacewalker.
1986 Jeana Yeager (and Dick Rutan)-First pilots to fly around the world non-stop and non-refueled. They accomplished this in a specially designed aircraft called the Voyager.
1990 British Chemist Helen Sharman flew to Mir Space Station for a week long stay after answering a newspaper advertisement. " Astronaut wanted - no experience necessary".
1990 Jean K. Tinsley-First female to fly a tilt rotor aircraft.
1992 Mae Jemison-First African American woman in space.
1995 Eileen M. Collins-First female to pilot U.S. space shuttle; 
1996 Shannon Lucid returns from six months aboard Mir, setting a space endurance record for women and a U.S. space endurance record.
1997 Kalpana Chawla -First Indian woman in outer space.
1999 Eileen Collins made history once again as the First Woman to fly as a Space Shuttle Commander.
Doris Brell a hellicopter pilot Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

Your Choice: Aging Boomer or Ageless Bloomer

Guest blog by Barbara M. Morris, R.Ph

The American way of aging, steeped in stultifying tradition and flawed conventional wisdom of a bygone era, is slowly changing. 

But for now, tradition and custom still dominate. You know the routine: Around age 50 an accelerating number of sound bites, events and messages caution or imply, "The end is near." Everything from invitations to join AARP to dire warnings about inescapable problems and pitfalls of aging are relentless reminders life is winding down.

You are deemed lazy or irresponsible if you have not prepared to acquire that contagious, debilitating disease called retirement - a political absurdity of the Depression Era that short-circuits the life and potential of many capable people and, burdens society in too many ways to count. 

Bombarded by countless predictions of impending disability and death, you start looking for signs of your own decline. A momentary memory lapse, which everyone experiences, regardless of age, results in a panicky "I'm having a senior moment." I have never heard a teenager experiencing a memory lapse (and they have plenty of them) berate him or herself with "I'm having a junior moment." 

You drop something and immediately declare, "I must be getting old." Young people drop things all the time and don't imagine they are getting old. They just bend over and pick it up. Youth doesn't sweat the small stuff - why should you? 

The advent of age 60 can really accelerate the "old age" wrecking ball. Tradition says it's time to leave the real world. It's time to travel and play golf the rest of your life.

Social and family pressure convinces you the home you've lived in all your life is now "too much" for you. Therefore, you move to a retirement community where you not only enjoy the comfort and camaraderie of peers, but you are also vulnerable to the reality of the Grim Reaper who manifests himself in an abnormal concentration of sickness, depression, and death.

You adopt attitudes and behaviors that instruct your subconscious to help you let go of life. You kid yourself that you are just taking time to smell the roses but before you know it, the roses are on your coffin and you are pushing up daises.

Here's the good news: In spite of the pull of tradition and social expectations, people are beginning to opt out of the traditional aging process, refusing to slow down, fall into line, give up, and drop out. A 78 year-old friend and business owner is engaged to a successful younger executive and together they have a solid plan for future business and personal growth. A 92-year-old woman is flying across the country, participating in a Powder Puff Derby. A 78-year-old man is studying for a doctor's degree. 

These people and countless others are maintaining and improving the quality of their lives and making a valuable contribution to society. Unfortunately, examples of inspiring mature lives are too often hidden. When brought to light, we exclaim in astonishment, "Isn't she wonderful for her age," or "Isn't it amazing what he is still doing?" When people learn I am still working as a pharmacist, they gasp, "You are still working full time at age 73?" Big deal! Chronological age is an accounting of time gone by, not a measure of physical or mental capacity.

Expression of amazement for age-related competence is patronizing. Ability should be valued for what it is, without reference to chronological age,. That point will be reached when more influential and outspoken mature role models come out of the "old age" closet and show, if not flaunt, what they and others are capable of accomplishing. They are needed to help establish an enlightened society in which healthy, productive aging is no longer newsworthy as something special. It will open doors of opportunity and possibilities now closed to valuable and talented people afflicted with nothing more incapacitating than advanced chronological age.

How about you: Are you living a life that rejects they tyranny of chronological age? Are you happily marching forward to the beat of your own personal drummer? Are you gloriously "out of sync" with convention-bound peers? Are you productively defying archaic wisdom that no longer makes sense? If so, the world needs to know about you. 

In the past century, the American life span has increased 27 years. Boomers are the first generation ever to have the opportunity for a healthy, productive Second Life. They can choose the traditional aging route as their parents did, or forge an exciting, unprecedented transition from fantasy-driven "young forever boomer" to real life healthy, productive, ageless bloomer. It's a matter of choice, not chance. It's just that simple. 

This Holiday, Trim the Turkey-And Your Waistline

Guest blog by Dara Stieger, Registered Dietitian, MS, RD, LDN

Most Americans can pack on five to eight pounds every year between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, enjoying big family dinners and other seasonal festivities.

Sugary baked goods, butter-laden side dishes, sugar-loaded cakes and breads, and fatty main courses can make it hard to maintain your waistline, or lose weight, during the holidays.

But in fact, it can be downright easy to maintain your weight and the holiday spirit with some creativity and advance planning.

Avoid Mall Munchies

Step one: stay away from high-fat, high-calorie snacks when shopping at the mall or supermarket. Plan your shopping after mealtime, so you won't be hungry when you shop. And try to have three balanced, home-cooked meals a day, which will help you fend off snacking and overeating.

If the mall's food court is your only option for a meal on a busy day, choose healthier items such as a "create your own" salad with low-fat dressing (or olive oil and vinegar), or a slice of pizza topped with fresh vegetables.

And here's a neat exercise tip to use while you're mall hopping: Park as far from the mall entrances as you can, or enter the malls at the opposite end of your destinations. Depending on how much extra walking you can engineer into your travels, you can burn any extra 100 to 500 calories.

Be a Party Planner

The holidays are loaded with great get-togethers; sometimes several in a week. To maintain or even trim your waistline at cocktail parties, eat something healthy, yet filling before heading to the parties. This will help you cut down on or even avoid fattening party foods and snacks.

And if you're hosting your own bash, wait until the day of or day before the party to buy your groceries, even if that means missing a sale. Keeping sweets, cakes, breads, drinks, snacks, and other party foods out of the house will also keep them out of your tummy.

Also, plan your schedule so there's little as time as possible between party preparation and the arrival of guests. This will help you avoid snacking on your tempting and delicious party creations.

Remember, being the host means that you can create healthier versions of all of your favorite recipes which you, your guests and your family can enjoy without any guilt.

Skin the Bird

One holiday dinner can have over 3,000 calories-more than people should consume in a single day. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the meal. Instead of ham, roast beef, or other dark meat, reach for white meat turkey. Then peel off the skin, which harbors about 4 grams of fat, and you've shaved about 35 calories off that delicious helping.

Likewise, pass on too many starchy side dishes. Favor roasted vegetables and salads instead (especially salads without dressing already mixed in). You can also opt for low-sodium butter, low-fat dairy products, and egg whites to cut calories without cutting flavor.

The Skinny on Drinks and Desserts

Alcohol is very high in calories. Cutting back on alcoholic beverages will cut your total caloric intake. Wine or light beer may be a better choice than mixed drinks which are often high in sugar and calories. And remember, if you choose to consume alcohol, do so in moderation.

When baking sweets, use a substitute for sugar, use light butter instead of regular butter when possible, and use apple sauce instead of oil (yes, you read that right!). Top your desserts with a dollop of light whipped cream. And be sure to serve a big bowl of high fiber fruits, such as grapes, pineapples, honeydews, and strawberries.

Lastly, don't let watching what you eat get in the way of your good time. Remember that healthy options are nearly always available on the table. You just need to be alert and inventive. Make this the year that you make the best choices, and have the best, slimmest holiday season ever.